Words Matter!
There is a line in the book/movie The Help, that was powerful and captured my heart. It’s grammatically incorrect, but that’s not the point. It’s truly one of my favorite lines.
You is Kind
You is Smart
You is Important
Aibileen made Mae Mobley repeat these words over and over again. Researchers say the optimum number of repetitions for vocabulary to go into the long-term memory of the brain is 17. Likewise, we need to hear a word 10 times to remember it, and on average, it takes about 66 days for a new behavior or habit to become automatic (depending on the individual).
Just imagine Aibileen saying those words every day to Mae Mobley and Mae Mobley repeating them for 18 years. She would have heard and said those words 6,570 times. According to the research, Mae Mobley would have internalized those words and would have become a self-fulfilling prophecy which is an expectation or belief that can influence your behaviors, causing the belief to come true. Positive words have the power to influence our subconscious mind and subsequently affect our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When consistently exposed to positive words, young children develop a mindset that fosters confidence, self-worth, and healthy relationships. This emphasizes the importance of communicating positively with young children, as it lays the foundation for their emotional well-being and social interactions. By instilling positive messages early on, we contribute to shaping their attitudes and outlook on life.
The Science of Words and Affirmations
Positive affirmations are invaluable tools for nurturing children's well-being, fostering self-esteem, and instilling self-belief. Affirmations are simple acts of kindness and love towards self that aids in building self-esteem and self-belief. By understanding the scientific basis behind the effectiveness of affirmations, we can appreciate their profound impact on shaping young minds.
First there is neuroplasticity which underscores the brain's remarkable ability to adapt and rewire itself throughout life. By consistently engaging in positive affirmations, children strengthen neural pathways associated with positive thinking, creating a mental framework that supports their self-perception and goals. Second, Cognitive Behavioral Theory reinforces the idea that our thoughts significantly influence our emotions and behaviors. By encouraging positive thought patterns through affirmations, we help children develop healthier emotional responses and behaviors, ultimately aligning them with their aspirations and values. By incorporating these principles into our interactions with children, whether through verbal affirmations or modeling positive self-talk, we play a vital role in nurturing their emotional resilience and well-being. It's a testament to the profound impact of intentional language and encouragement on children's psychological development.
Word Attack
Sharp words; lack of compassion; letting our emotions cause us to lash out unfairly; can impact children negatively. They are absorbed by our children and may leave a lasting impression on young minds. Children are incredibly perceptive and absorbent, often internalizing the words and actions directed towards them, especially during moments of frustration or anger. Negative words and behaviors can become deeply ingrained in their self-image, potentially shaping how they perceive themselves and interact with others in the future. Conversely, positive and compassionate communication fosters a nurturing environment where children feel valued, respected, and capable. By modeling empathy, patience, and understanding, we not only teach children how to treat others but also instill in them a sense of self-worth and emotional resilience. Being mindful of our language and behavior, especially during challenging moments, is paramount. Every interaction presents an opportunity to model positive behaviors and cultivate a supportive atmosphere where children feel safe to express themselves and grow emotionally. Ultimately, by prioritizing compassionate communication and modeling positive behaviors, we lay the foundation for healthy relationships, self-esteem, and emotional well-being in children. Our children are listening to us all the time, especially when we think they are not.
During my 35 years in education, I heard adults call children “bad,” “challenging,” “defiant,” “incorrigible,” “problematic,” “hard-headed,” “hard to like,” “disobedient,” and “rebellious.” These informal labels have far-reaching consequences that extend beyond the immediate moment and affect a child's educational journey, social interactions, and self-esteem. When a child is consistently labeled in a negative light, whether by teachers, family members, peers, or even themselves, it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Children may internalize this label and begin to believe they are inherently "bad," which can profoundly impact their behavior, academic performance, and mental well-being.
Furthermore, these labels can influence how educators and other adults interact with the child, potentially leading to a lack of support or resources when they are needed most. This perpetuates a cycle where the child may struggle academically or behaviorally, reinforcing the negative perceptions held by others. The spread of such labels within the school community can exacerbate the situation, leading to gossip, assumptions, and even ostracization of the child. This not only affects the child's sense of belonging but also perpetuates a divisive and judgmental atmosphere within the school environment.
It's crucial for educators, family members, and caregivers, to be mindful of the language they use when referring to children and to challenge negative stereotypes and labels. In my book, “It Takes a Village to Raise a Reader,” I talk about the power of words. Every child deserves to be seen as an individual with unique strengths, challenges, and potential. By fostering a culture of empathy, understanding, and support, we can create environments where all children can thrive and reach their greatest potential.
